So, I've got this friend, a best friend, actually, whom I am always at odds with about music. He likes things like Coldplay and Arcade Fire and Keane and Hard-Fi. But he's more of a fad-based guy. His taste has changed by the year for as long as I know him. He is generally critical of what I like, I recall an incident where I was listening to RATM and he said "I guess this is one of your bands that just bashes on the instruments and sees what happens..." I also recall once he heard LYTID and said "Love You Till I Don't? Hmm, lyrics aren't this band's strong point, hey?" He also once described Metallica's S&M as "some guys playing good classical music, but then these other guys are playing on top of it 'NAAAAAAAA NA NA NA NA, HAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIILLLL THE DEVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!!!!'". This is also a guy who demanded that I turn off HWC after 30 seconds of song 1; he just could not appreciate it even for its comedic value, which is just one of its many intrinsic values.
He knows I am quite critical of radio music and MTV and the labels paying them to play what they want to shove down our throats. He doesn't buy that. He's also not impressed with my assessment of Coldplay being "Pansy Rock" - he says "listen to the lyrics man, this guy has been through a lot, he has a lot to say!" and I said "I am sure he does, but I can listen to music that has great lyrics and isn't so goddamn boring!"
He also made me listen to Gnarls Barkley last time he was in town, he thinks they are just the greatest thing since sliced bread. Overall, I don't mind them, but there is no denying them that they are the latest music industry darling being mass exposed deliberately. He showed me some song called "monster in my closet" and said "ok dude, listen to this part, it's so cool!!!" and the song went "as I got nearer, I realized, it was a mirror!" I said "so?" he said "isn't that cool? Good lyrics, hey?" and I said "well, no, not really. not very original either. The whole concept of 'i'm the monster, my problems lie inside, i'm the one to blame for my troubles, i looked inside myself and found evil, etc' is so tired and overdone so forgive me for not thinking that line is anything special".
And with Keane and Hard-Fi, I was subjected to a whole album of each - again, he thinks they are the greatest things since Gnarls Barkley, and seemed offended that I replied "yeah, they're alright, but I wouldn't go running around to all my friend's houses saying 'wow, DUDE, you just HAVE to hear this!!!!'"
Anyway, the last couple of years he's been generally pushing his music on me while constantly questioning why I like what I like. I recall mentioning once that I consider my top artists so good that it's practically life changing. (referring specifically to Metallica, The Wildhearts, The Beatles, and The Rolling Stones) - Then the guy wants examples. He just pushes and pushes like he expects me to scientifically prove that these are the best bands ever and deserve the lofty status I give them.
More or less, the roles have been reversed from what they "should" be. I am a bit of a music snob (not compared to people I meet online but certainly in comparison to those I know in person) and he's a bit of a radio whore. You'd expect to see him trying to mind his own business and stay in his own little world, and me trying to "save" him and show him that he can discover good music on his own and it would be so much more rewarding. But no, it is him pushing this music on me that is mediocre at best and me being less than impresses as I have been exposed to so much better music in my life.
Anyway. now that you know the background, a month ago he was back in town and I had Metallica on. Out of nowhere he says to me: "I've never really been a fan of the whole 'band' thing, where there's one guy with a guitar and another guy on the drums, etc. So what do you like about Metallica anyway?" The question caught me off guard immediately but with some quick thinking (because if I didn't do well I would never hear the end about how I couldn't even explain why I like my favourite band) I was able to come up with a reasonable answer. I said something like, "Well, I enjoy their technical proficiency - they are very talented in their respective instruments. I really enjoy the theme-based structures of each of their albums. They have very complex song structures that defy most conventional mainstream methods, containing multiple phases in each song, and very socially and politically profound lyrics. They also just plain rock, and as you know, I like heavy music." that was enough to get him off my case momentarily.
With the NYC trip coming up, I am sure I am going to hear it some day soon - What is so good about the Wildhearts/Why do you like the WIldhearts so much? I figure I should prepare for this question better than the last one. It would be more than fair to say "well, jeez. listen to them. They fucking rock. Listen to that riff. Who else does that?" but that wouldn't be good enough for this smartass. It has to sound almost scientific. I could do this myself, but why do it alone when I have you guys? Help me out. Answer the question. Keeping in mind that this is a guy who hasn't ever given them a chance, how do you tell a supposed know-it-all like this how the Wildhearts are good, in about 100 words or less?
